News Item
The Return of The King
Children, peasants' and wenches rise for you King has returned. Your King returns to you after a journey to the four corners of the empire. Exuberance, lust and greed were on the menu and let me tell you, your king is very full.
The last time I graced you with a message was before my fight with the primal MR SAMOA. A match I had won before Mr Samoa decided to break the law and assault my queen! MR SAMOA IT'S NOT OK! After that vial moment your king could not believe his ears.... The crowd of peasants cheered.... They cheered as their Queen lay unconscious on the mat.
You are no smarter than Jade "the dullard" Diamond. No amount of protein shakes, T bone steaks or hot dates can change that YOU Diamond are an idiot. You were not taught Latin as a child, no you were taught how to set fire to insects, you weren't shown world changing theatre from age five, no you were chucked in front of the television and made to watch Knight Ryder whilst your father mingled with wenches.
I don't know how Diamond, but I hear that you have recently defeated Mark Davis for the WORLD WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP, a smart man would imagine you wouldn't give me a chance to take that belt from you, but I'm going to guess you are to juiced up to use your brain. I am smarter and better than you Diamond, so at KPW MAYHEM I challenge you to fight me for the WORLD WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP.
After I beat you and stand victorious in the ring with my Queen by my side, I might even spare your life and give you the honour of being my ninth court Jester. I know I know, your king is kind and merciful trust me I get told this every day.
Yours remarkably,
King Wilbur