News Item

Whanganui's Whi-nest

Whanganui's finest? Huh? A gym rat & a carnie? Huh? KPW's tag team champions? Huh?!? That ain't right one bit. A wrestling organisation of KPW's calibre requires tag champions who can be respected on every level. And I can think of no two better wrestlers who can fit that role than the mighty Great King Wilbur and yours truly, the sultry Jimmy Foxx.

Not only am I the most beautiful person you have ever seen, I also have an amazingly sexy, large brain. I've done some calculations and it appears H-Flame and Lazarus Volt are at very long odds to retain their titles against the King & I at Grudge Night. You see, when a wrestler goes up against another wrestler, their odds of winning are 50/50. However, because I am the greatest wrestler who has ever put gold spandex pants on, when anyone enters the ring to face me they don't have more than a 20% chance of winning, at best. The numbers produce an even clearer picture of domination when you calculate the volume and mass of my tag partner, the abundant King Wilbur. He's done his carbo loading and with his size he equals both H-Flame and Lazarus Volt combined. Therefore if the Whanganui losers faced the Korpulent King in a two-on-one match, they would only have a 50% chance of triumphing. But this isn't a 2-on-1match, it's a 2-on-2 match. So add the 80% chance I have of winning in all my matches & King Wilbur's 50% chance at beating them just by himself, the King & I have a 130% chance of winning the KPW tag team titles at Grudge Night.

More than just a beautiful face, oh yeah! I know, it's ok to be jealous.

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