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16.12.14 19:40 Age: 6 yrs


In a recent KPW Heavyweight Championship match held at Auckland's Avondale College, champion Shane "the Shooter" Sinclair squared off against one of this country's finest wrestlers, Marcus Kool.  In a sad day for sportsmanship, Kool would lose his, er, cool when he couldn't get the job done by fair means, and so resorted to foul.   

Emulating the attitude that lead his English forefathers to conquer twenty-two percent of the entire world, Marcus Kool unleashed the beast by offering the defending a champ a chair (albeit across the temples) and then simply taking what he had coveted all along - the KPW Heavyweight Championship.  Marcus Kool lost the battle (by disqualification) in that he did not leave Avondale College as the KPW Heavyweight Champion, but he did indeed leave with the all-important championship belt. spoke to Shane Sinclair, who is still the KPW Heavyweight Champion, about Marcus Kool's act of theft, about how the challenger's disgraceful conduct cheated four hundred paying wrestling fans out of a clean finish, about Kool's stated intentions to create a string of "selfies" picturing him with the stolen KPW belt, how the theft of the coveted heavyweight championship will affect Christmas at the Sinclair household, and what the immediate future holds. 

While KPW management of course condemns the threat of personal property - especially when said property is the KPW Championship belt - they know a great match-up between two skilled competitors when they see one.  From KPW head office in Wellington, KPW CEO Rip Morgan has issued personal edicts to the Queenstown-based Marcus Kool to return the belt to its rightful owner, all the while aware of the crowd-drawing potential of a rematch. 

But right now, the belt remains where it shouldn't be.  Perhaps emulating the Grinch who tied to steal Christmas, Marcus Kool has given himself an early Christmas gift in the golden form of the stolen KPW Heavyweight Championship belt.  With the three lions of England on his shirt and an even bigger chip on his shoulder, the "English Hooligan" Marcus Kool is never at a loss for words.  Look for his upcoming (no doubt incendiary) communique concerning his conduct in a future article on this very website!